tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34227304841609124012024-03-12T22:32:13.127-05:00h'art worksArtist. Writer. Designer. I paint, arrange, color, design and formulate visual textures.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-4951884731788232802010-05-19T01:22:00.000-05:002010-05-19T01:22:12.353-05:00forward momentumSmall, achingly bittersweet and delicious moments of supreme clarity give me pause as a smile brushes my lips in hopeful laughter of what may come next.<br />
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A freeing feeling, it is, to let my soul believe, just for a moment or two longer, that there really is something powerful and awesome about life. That there really is something magnificent about just breathing in and out. <br />
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Oh, so much did I ache for this recent opportunity, and it was beautiful and fulfilling and awesome just to visit and be in their creative space for awhile. I learned from just that afternoon that anything truly is possible, there are no rules, no matter who tells you so. <br />
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And so, a breaking rules I will go. I will continue to create art that makes people smile while giving others pause. I will design my world of wood and canvas and nature and make it my home. I will pour out the words that affect my sense of balance until everything fits just right again. I will leap into the air and take flight as my dreams will let me.<br />
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It's these still, small, delightful moments that let me believe I can do anything. Let me believe.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-62845115845025229292010-02-26T03:41:00.000-06:002010-02-26T03:41:19.518-06:00Spring TravelTomorrow I will be on the road again. Being on the road I don't mind so much, the stuff I'm having a hard time with does not involve the landscapes I'll see and the miles I'll drive. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHUFiwSso4pRV5PYtGi85j-8tZBCfe1E7FmJ1qXy3dE523eg9UgXOj7dO6nX_sow5FazpJFiBsxN05DxTifeHI7cuONs0bi4RPEMSAjB7v5UX_SKqR09RJp6rMlbEIc1SMN28fsSI3UkCS/s1600-h/daffodils2007-02-28.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHUFiwSso4pRV5PYtGi85j-8tZBCfe1E7FmJ1qXy3dE523eg9UgXOj7dO6nX_sow5FazpJFiBsxN05DxTifeHI7cuONs0bi4RPEMSAjB7v5UX_SKqR09RJp6rMlbEIc1SMN28fsSI3UkCS/s200/daffodils2007-02-28.JPG" width="150" /></a></div>What I'm torn over is: the daffodils are blooming. They're these tiny, miniature daffodils I planted in the the yard a few years ago. We always had these big blooming yellow bursts at our old house, and I wanted some here, and all I could find was a little desk plant size that I transplanted to the yard. And they pop their tiny, delicate yellow blooming heads up each year now. <br />
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This is only a base feeling for the deeper butterflies. Sure, March in West Texas is brutally windy and it is thoroughly unpleasant to go outside and eat dirt in the air. So escaping that is a plus.<br />
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But being away long enough for the weeds to take over the yard irks me. Being so far away from my tools and supplies has me crawling with hives. Packing enough clothes, let alone shoes for several weeks just has me in a tither.<br />
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I'm so torn up, I haven't eaten right in days. All my brushes and tools and choices are set up and laid out so that when inspiration strikes, I just grab and get to work. The weather is finally starting to get nice, nice enough that I don't want to stay buried under five blankets for warmth all day. Nice enough that I want to spend my afternoon outside, writing or gardening or watching the birds flit about.<br />
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This is so very weird for me. I love to travel, especially in the Spring. For years I felt that I needed to be in San Antonio in the Springtime, watching the preparations for Fiesta, absorbing all the colors and excitement. Wandering the Hill Country to see all the miles of reds, blues, yellows - wildflowers and bluebonnets in bloom.<br />
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That's home to me. That's what I crave and enjoy.<br />
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Please, oh, please, let me find some creative joy out of this excursion.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-20419415171805132002010-02-13T20:55:00.000-06:002010-02-13T20:55:04.851-06:00Art should be messyCreation should come from destruction, from randomness, from the unknown.<br />
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So many rules to follow in daily life lead to frustration and depression. Stay inside the lines. Stop at the stop signs. Don’t hit others. Keep your room clean. Don’t play with your food. <br />
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One of the best possible memories of creating, of art in my early years, comes from being completely and unabashedly messy. It is still enough of an impression upon my subconscious that I’m a messy and disorganized adult now.<br />
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Having an ‘art shirt’. The old, over-sized button down shirt of some adult in my life that was used as an art smock, so as not to get my other clothes dirty or stained. Over time this smock shirt would end up with stains and smears, splatters and streaks in all colors of the rainbow. <br />
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My grandfather passed away nearly a decade ago now, and I adopted several of his work shirts when my grandmother was cleaning out his closet. Sturdy cloth, strong stitching, meant to handle grease or dirt and still be fine. They have his name stitched above the pocket and a hole in the pocket flap for a pen to reside. They’re slightly baggy on me, which is fine for layering over tank tops or sweaters. But these are my art smocks now. The familiar pride in wearing his shirt feels comforting. The random streaks of paint across the front and arms from where I routinely wipe paintbrushes makes it mine. <br />
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If you’re sitting down to paint with your kids, know that they’re going to be kids. They’re going to be messy and draw outside the lines and mix colors just because they can. Let them enjoy that freedom of creating art in their own way. Pull out an old button down shirt that they can use as their own art smock, something that they can get messy in and not worry about the consequences. Get one for yourself. See how good it feels to ignore just a few rules sometimes.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-13241914166689097772010-01-01T02:17:00.000-06:002010-01-01T02:17:02.412-06:00Into the NewCelebrations 'round the world for the end of a year/decade thus welcoming the new, the unknown, the upcoming. <br />
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I want to go further in the art than I have done before. Having my first show under my belt has helped give me a few more ideas to work on, things to expand on and things that I can continue to work on for myself. <br />
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The zombie sheep caught people off guard, made them pause, made them laugh, and gave me a whole new perspective on these little baaa-uugggers. <br />
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My drip/splatter paintings were received in a different way. Several people stopped to comment on them, to admire and question and encourage me to do this or that with them. I am calm and at peace with these. If they sell or if they show, I don't care. I create them because it's what I feel when I'm creating. These paintings are what comes from my visions and ideas. These paintings tell their own stories and invite you to touch them to feel each line as it was laid down across the canvas. These paintings are my art. <br />
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May the new experiences in the coming year give me better understanding of the business side of making art work for me, give me more opportunities to create them and promote them, and find the audience they are fit to receive.<br />
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As for the zombie sheep, well, they'll be branching out on their own soon enough, given their own space to roam with a website and probably t-shirts. <br />
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Writing will keep me busy as I work for one company and develop my fiction writing skills in another. Words will continue to flow, gracefully or not, but they will pour forth and return to me as complete structured sentences. And, you know, better paychecks. Hopefully with a novel under my own moniker...<br />
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Here's to the new, here's to the unknown, here's to the possibilities. Let's celebrate and create about it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-63819249206463035492009-11-18T13:43:00.000-06:002009-11-18T13:43:18.025-06:00Would YOU wear a shirt with this on it?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDfKLYbEW_xuvzU69b2k40UuifhvRiMGOe6qDIxOJGv4CXSDgXUz6ES-prQBLe4tx2yXk_vm61YSWY0AJE3Ow5lsGLIusCuWYA93TzBsSLf5_R0NXYGsmPLAQATuchenZuXTB0Nwhyphenhyphen4bvo/s1600/PC+Front+ZS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDfKLYbEW_xuvzU69b2k40UuifhvRiMGOe6qDIxOJGv4CXSDgXUz6ES-prQBLe4tx2yXk_vm61YSWY0AJE3Ow5lsGLIusCuWYA93TzBsSLf5_R0NXYGsmPLAQATuchenZuXTB0Nwhyphenhyphen4bvo/s320/PC+Front+ZS.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This is one version of the sneaky Zombie Sheep. They will eat you and convert you to their nefarious Zombie Sheep ways. Suddenly you will find yourself looking over your shoulder and laughing at sheep in a whole new way.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So to further promote awareness - we'd like to share the warning of "Don't Blink!" with as many people as possible. Would YOU wear a shirt with this on it?<br />
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When I actually jot them down, the list fits on a post-it note... if I write really small. <br />
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There is a fascinating calm to this stress. <br />
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I have no idea how to do several things, and am trying to figure them out in plenty of time. Credit cards? Yeah. I'm spoiled by <a href="http://paypal.com">paypal</a>. Setting up the actual booth? You mean I need a plan other than to pull it out of the box and hang a few things up? Lights? Arrangement? A table, maybe? A place to put the credit card machine? Wow...<br />
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Paintings. Carvings. I don't have as many carvings done as I'd like to have. The smaller paintings need more work. I need to get the prints narrowed down from the 76 images I have to choose from and get them printed. I need to order the sleeves for them, and for the note cards. I need to work on the note cards! <br />
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I need to send out the postcards as soon as they're ready - tell everyone about the show and offer a discount to those who are interested. I need to update the gallery on <a href="http://heatherartworks.com">heatherartworks.com</a> and I'd like to launch a mailing list, but that may have to wait till December. I have to make a decision on the Spring shows - which one I want to aim for - how many pieces I can accomplish before then, cost, can I really do this?, etc...<br />
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It's a very, very different stress than what I was going through over a month ago. (Let's just say: I don't take orders. At all. And I'm going back to being a volunteer so I can say "No" to the ridiculous.) <br />
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This is a stress I can deal with, because it allows me to find creative solutions and rearrange how I approach things. (I'm not crying every night, so that alone is 100 times better!) <i>This</i> is my plan, my creativity given free reign, the way it should be. <br />
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Paintings will be finished. Carvings will get stained. Prints will be sleeved. Note cards will be bundled. <br />
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Speaking of which - the note cards are a limited edition item... come to think of it, so's everything else! When they're gone, they're gone! So... if any of the pieces strike your fancy, snap 'em up!<br />
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Now back to sorting out the list of things to do and find a place to start. A paintbrush seems a good a place as any...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-20431563675945763982009-11-02T06:32:00.005-06:002009-11-02T06:49:12.779-06:00tactileWell, I've managed to go and scare myself, noting that it's three and a half weeks till the Thanksgiving Invitational Art Show thing in Fredericksburg on the two days after Thanksgiving. I need to get things printed, I need to get things painted, I need to get things carved... I need to figure out business things for the course of the two days... Plus I still need to pay the bills and clean and do laundry and do research and job hunt...<br /><br />Eck. Enough about that for now. I'll post a photo or two of what I've been working on lately:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCeou5PYyhY-oR0Y2wGQKHIyvB7gVPFS0dNJ9zDnmt1aeqyIep5y__Qin2tK8Q65gjcnNp8VuGRPis9Zit-c-rsbh_hf-x4NUUGxITvNdqFU6ippUpb8OuDENHZM_q6wZE9R9BB52P8duq/s1600-h/DSCN7253.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCeou5PYyhY-oR0Y2wGQKHIyvB7gVPFS0dNJ9zDnmt1aeqyIep5y__Qin2tK8Q65gjcnNp8VuGRPis9Zit-c-rsbh_hf-x4NUUGxITvNdqFU6ippUpb8OuDENHZM_q6wZE9R9BB52P8duq/s320/DSCN7253.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399484617573493010" /></a><br /><br />I call this series "Fall Colors, 2009". Yes, they're light purple and blues. Just the colors that came to mind when I sketched this one out. They're still not finished - more to go. They're 18 inches across and about 4 feet tall. There are four panels, each with the 'squares' in different locations. I've made a smaller one, too. If this series gets accepted for a show in a gallery, the small one, about 8 inches by 20 inches, will be touchable.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhntkdAdBRX_0H0U4wkoKg91DET0qSY7cXbtYRi01oRO27YogO5IwKcTIq5Jbn1PVaboIvjhbCUwDPR7SU5g3_gAvv37EXiaJEaIyT8Rd-S09Zfo3iPmeA6falMJRcQbumF2k6Qfovknjb2/s1600-h/DSCN7254.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhntkdAdBRX_0H0U4wkoKg91DET0qSY7cXbtYRi01oRO27YogO5IwKcTIq5Jbn1PVaboIvjhbCUwDPR7SU5g3_gAvv37EXiaJEaIyT8Rd-S09Zfo3iPmeA6falMJRcQbumF2k6Qfovknjb2/s320/DSCN7254.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399485843143364674" /></a><br /><br />Tactile. I enjoy the texture of these pieces, and while I really don't want everybody lovin' on the big panels or paintings, the smaller one will be there just for that. To touch. To feel what the canvas materiel feels like. To feel what the layers of paints feel like. To run your fingers along the lines and depths and across the now-dry drips. This is what art is to me. To be able to touch it and experience it for myself. To share that with everybody else.<br /><br />Anyway, I'll post more soon on the show at Thanksgiving - hopefully I'll have the postcard invites ready by the end of this week, get those up here. Generate some interest in coming out to see what I've got up as well as what other artist's are displaying for show and sell.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-84808193198838007082009-09-13T00:56:00.004-05:002009-09-13T01:02:33.895-05:00grinYou know what makes me happy?<br />Power tools.<br />You know what makes me even happier?<br />Using them! <br /><br />It's a fascinating blend of destruction and creation when I heft that saw or drill and make the wood change shapes. The sawdust flies, chips popping me in the arm, the high buzz resonating through my body as I lean into give some balance.<br /><br />Wood has a distinct scent, wet and dry, and all the variations of trees they come from. The grains shift under my fingertips, the hard and soft levels playing fast and loose with the blades as I go across. It's a beautiful and appealing feel, drawing me in and asking for more.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-81030574571237711162009-06-22T22:54:00.000-05:002009-06-23T00:46:56.831-05:00painting zen - 1, 2, 3 - black, orange, pinkWe'll see if the viddler video upload works, because youtube tells me I can't upload a video over 10 minutes, which I think is bollocks. Whatever. <br /><br />I'll do actual explaining about the pieces when the paint is dry & I've released the tape and gotten them ready for hanging.<br /><br />It's two pieces - with 1 layer of black, 2 layers of oranges, and 3 layers of pinks on top.<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" width="437" height="370" id="viddler_hfrancell_1"><param name="movie" value="http://www.viddler.com/player/1842ce1a/" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed src="http://www.viddler.com/player/1842ce1a/" wmode="transparent" width="437" height="370" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="always" allowFullScreen="true" name="viddler_hfrancell_1" /></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-15030994638481800332009-04-28T23:10:00.001-05:002009-04-29T04:20:52.245-05:00"Where Are You Going"I'm trying my damnedest to stay upbeat because everyone else is telling me what a beautiful place I'm in. If you saw the mouse, or mice, scurrying around the floor like I am right now, you might see things a bit differently and lay off the "It's paradise! Enjoy it!" sentiments. <br /><br />The timing has been difficult at best. With the stress of last week and everything. With trying to figure out the time zone differences so I'm not waking someone up when I call. With trying to make my commitments to my contracts for conference calls and proposals and writing guidelines and updates in between school and dentist and other kid related things. <br /><br />For all those who thought I was just joking when I said I don't want kids... well, this trip is just confirmation of those thoughts for me. <br /><br />Maybe I really am this selfish. Maybe I really do enjoy the peace and the traveling and spending time with my partner, even if right now it's just phone conversations. Maybe I really do want to fly down the highway on a motorcycle. Maybe I do want to make an entire meal out of brie and tilapia and wine. Maybe I want to stay in bed all day savoring my partner's body or a really good book. Maybe I want to travel where the wind blows and see what happens as opposed to having a schedule.<br /><br />I'm supposedly on vacation. I'm not real sure according to who. I still have things to get done everyday and jobs to apply for in between being a nanny of sorts. <br /><br />When I travel I like to roam. To wander. To disappear on my own. I <i>really</i> enjoy this. I have for years. To meander through a new town or small antique store or funky boutique. To sit and enjoy a really good meal with wine in some small local cafe or to listen to a local band jam in some little bar. To sit on a park bench and people watch or read or write. <br /><br />So far... um, nope. <br /><br />I hope that I really can explore a bit soon. I hope to take advantage of the time I'm here to go see things I've always wanted to see - like Pearl Harbor. I'm sure the Polynesian Center is awesome, but the cost far outweighs my interest at this time. I'll add it to the 'someday, when I can come back with someone I want to spend travel time with, or when I don't have to worry about money anymore' file. <br /><br />I have taken several pictures of the clouds over the mountains and the flowers, though. I've gotten to swim in the Pacific now (not in a relaxing sunbathing kind of swim, this was a 'keep the girls from drowning each other' exhausting couple of hours), to check that off the list. <br /><br />I'm trying to find time to just read, but it's hard because I tend to start crying when I find that few minutes and realize the situation I'm in and who I'm missing. <br /><br />Yes, it's far from ideal right now. Yes, I'm attempting to try. I have moments where it's really nice, but the reality is a far harsher fall.<br /><br />When I can finally take the time to draw or do something remotely resembling art again, I will. Unfortunately, even with the bit of soul searching I'm trying to do right now, it's going to take me awhile to get my head screwed back on straight. I'm in emotional and mental upheaval and I have to keep it all inside for now.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-20085276759044808592009-04-19T12:57:00.000-05:002009-04-19T12:59:36.837-05:00This is why I write, this is why I blog, this is who I amBecause not everyone hears every story. Because not everyone cares about the stories we do tell. Because sometimes we need to be heard in the void. Because everyone remembers something different.<br /><br />I remember my grandfather as a hard man. I don't know enough about his life before I can remember being young, because he never talked about it. He didn't share his own stories, even the hard ones. <br /><br />All we knew was we had to be quiet. We couldn't play "Hungry-Hungry-Hippos" because it was too much noise. I'm pretty sure his main reason for building us a playset in the backyard was so that we could make noise - <i>outside</i>. The reason I remember being told was because he practically grew up an only child, he was used to quiet. <br /><br />That excuse makes no sense to me now. I don't suppose it did then either. <br /><br />My grandmother thrived, and still does to a point, on commotion & chaos. Having half a dozen kids sleeping over, playing dress up, making plays, playing games and generally squirreling underfoot was her element. For her, coordinating and planning and talking to lots of people is a great day. She seems to bloom like her roses that hold steadfast in hard caliche and whipping wind only to glow strong and fresh in the many vases placed everywhere you turn.<br /><br />My grandfather though, could get lost for hours in books. I know he did all these pretty great things like starting swim teams when my dad & uncles were boys. I know he ran a respected business, helped develop this city in many ways, worked on so many projects. I know he helped make laws and brought computers to their business and helped build Prairie Pete Park when it had cool things to climb on. I know he was in the Army Air Corp and ended up at Midland Army Air Field. I know he was raised in Chicago. I know he made a good Colonel in the CAF because he's just ornery enough to fit the criteria. <br /><br />But I mostly remember him always having a book. Sitting in his chair reading, barking at us to quit tearing through the house. Sitting, quietly, trying to stay lost in his world.<br /><br />There are things I learned about him eventually. Bits of snippets of his memories as a kid or family growing up or what else he'd done. Either I got old enough to finally hear them or he finally decided to tell them. <br /><br />He was a hard man. But he got things done. More than one person referred to him as an ogre, whether the referral was affectionate or not depended on who you talked to. He somehow made things happen, and I imagine he growled quite a lot at quite a number of people to make these things happen. <br /><br />My grandparents were married 65 years. As much as we could see them push each others buttons, he loved my grandmother. It was rare, but to catch him looking at her with affection when he thought no one was watching, that is when he bloomed like his rose bushes. He was all thorns and thick rough stalks and dry edged leaves to suddenly surprise you with a soft pink rosebud hidden and blooming. <br /><br />I don't know how they met. I don't know if he went to school for a degree. I don't know if he had dreams he wanted to pursue. <br /><br />I do know he read. A lot. I know he was an alcoholic. I know he liked growing the roses and tomatoes in the garden. I know he did things his way. I know he liked his choices in music.<br /><br />I know I'm a lot like him in some ways, traits passed on that make each of us who we are. <br /><br />I know I have stories that people will never hear. I know I have stories of things in my life that may never get passed along. Partly because I prefer to look forward and learn what I can from the past, but keep going.<br /><br />But I write them. I write some for myself, tucked into long and rambling notebooks now covered in dust on the shelf. I write to be read, posting into the internet things that happen as a way of remembering and sharing, sometimes to be commented on by strangers or fiends. I write down my memories of my stories, so that someday later when I flip back through them I can remember what that scent was or where that storm was or who I was with when that happened. <br /><br />We share these bits of our lives in a public space. We make the effort to put ourselves out there, to share what we see happening with the world. <br /><br />Because I want these stories of mine to be known, even if the only people who read it are friends I haven't met yet. So that somewhere out here in this world is my version of what I did and saw. So that someday when people wonder about the eccentric woman who paints and gets lost in her own world, they'll know there's more to me than just that. I have more stories than just what I've done.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-46757416101124408442009-04-10T03:58:00.007-05:002009-04-10T04:14:53.311-05:00Doin' it my way<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_lR10tdjsmYRD7OD76fDUuqOoiLSIXecuti3DzW48OQwY3dGxuypYKsA0FvArzeETLbhmeXS1mXaeVr3_szUGageBI6JWFhOHAp12OMugZ6miHu6p-HCJdJ-0x9gnazVQc0ir-5YQZKZ8/s1600-h/WDgood2009-04-09_1.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 183px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_lR10tdjsmYRD7OD76fDUuqOoiLSIXecuti3DzW48OQwY3dGxuypYKsA0FvArzeETLbhmeXS1mXaeVr3_szUGageBI6JWFhOHAp12OMugZ6miHu6p-HCJdJ-0x9gnazVQc0ir-5YQZKZ8/s320/WDgood2009-04-09_1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322939158742604002" border="0" /></a><br /><br />This piece is one of two, because it was supposed to be one of four, but two of them were sent to the 'scrap it' pile.<br /><br />This piece was submitted to the local art association for the juried show. It was 'not accepted'. My guess is because it's not a landscape or still life. (No, I'm not bitter... oh, well, maybe a little bit...) <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp8lGbtmZXnm7X2QDlxLKB01IK0FqWYYzC0NMwgLniA2kpHy3Q_qSHlYQ8ED-LpYdLuNC7Qzs-GOk-4qbd_cQTG9y2JgLzTXn8GE0GJU9YaKkpHcsE3ZN2l2oe_9wYA46Gc7uwu9DUgDlG/s1600-h/WDgood2009-04-09_3.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp8lGbtmZXnm7X2QDlxLKB01IK0FqWYYzC0NMwgLniA2kpHy3Q_qSHlYQ8ED-LpYdLuNC7Qzs-GOk-4qbd_cQTG9y2JgLzTXn8GE0GJU9YaKkpHcsE3ZN2l2oe_9wYA46Gc7uwu9DUgDlG/s200/WDgood2009-04-09_3.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322942414820611698" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />This piece is called <b>"Wishes Do..."</b>, because I thought it was cute and fun. And because it's only two feet long and the letters are like three inches each and they take up a lot of space, so word choices were limited. Logic. Of some sort. And because I wanted to have a happy little painting with a bit of meaning.<br /><br /><br />Actually, this is coming off as a bit jaded, and while I am about some things, I <i>love</i> the way these two came out. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghjNlTJDQAYzNXcA28srVVuaoe-tLQgY6ubHD_qTDLifOVP8muZW1_rYF2hbWC9lX0vfc9lFg_MMbOTsE2NkGoFtXqNhsS2S8Z8bbGIj5ZpVSBYAI4evaZ8S-A87eik2mcO4I3_ZnWu4l7/s1600-h/Splatter2009-03-05.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghjNlTJDQAYzNXcA28srVVuaoe-tLQgY6ubHD_qTDLifOVP8muZW1_rYF2hbWC9lX0vfc9lFg_MMbOTsE2NkGoFtXqNhsS2S8Z8bbGIj5ZpVSBYAI4evaZ8S-A87eik2mcO4I3_ZnWu4l7/s200/Splatter2009-03-05.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322944088472804306" border="0" /></a> They're cute, in a sassy kind of way. They're simple, and yet so many layers went into it, and I just want to run my fingers over the lines and layers... It's so <i>tactile</i>, the way I like my art. (<--- click on the photo for an extreme close up that makes you want to pet your computer screen.)<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">~~~~~~~~~</div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIyweamOGPCNnbzYf5nwaqWC3U4kovMTjG0K89LoJfg5LGfwIIv-vufs-YLFkLW7_xxZEayn-PPcL8j74hiBIyN5Ulc17Xczelnmi9sP5INMY4ef_vq7_xd0jC16pBXacb0YJtAdDCXOEV/s1600-h/WDbad2009-04-09_1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 170px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIyweamOGPCNnbzYf5nwaqWC3U4kovMTjG0K89LoJfg5LGfwIIv-vufs-YLFkLW7_xxZEayn-PPcL8j74hiBIyN5Ulc17Xczelnmi9sP5INMY4ef_vq7_xd0jC16pBXacb0YJtAdDCXOEV/s320/WDbad2009-04-09_1.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322944915358213362" /></a><br />Now, this is a picture of one of the two that are being repurposed. Gag. (In my opinion.) <br /><br />Oh, I should wait for you to scroll back to the top to see if you can compare and see the differences... <br /><br />There - did you see it? <br /><br />You can see the words in the first one. In the second one, well, you <i>can't</i>. The paint bled under the tape lines on the second set.<br /><br /><b>What the difference is: The base.</b><br /><br />The two that came out awesome, or at least the way I wanted them to, are the two I built and stretched myself. I use muslin because it's thinner than regular canvas is which offers the opportunity to see through it. This is a feature I really like. The bonus part of this is the way paint adheres to the thinly woven fabric, thus making it easier for shape shadows that are set with tape, and making the paint stay thick so it stands out, not bleeds down.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxQSxqCVWSj_-p-KF2_EePkAzHbHQ2hwH7eSgLCPrdaLtWx_hylBc1dtqhKwT8K1fR_skjv3eRuadJpv59WCkPW8ekn2Cy-DbI32FbDjiviTrbHwo1IgzXLedorXPBEynn2FtLSxS7H4Em/s1600-h/WDbad2009-04-09.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxQSxqCVWSj_-p-KF2_EePkAzHbHQ2hwH7eSgLCPrdaLtWx_hylBc1dtqhKwT8K1fR_skjv3eRuadJpv59WCkPW8ekn2Cy-DbI32FbDjiviTrbHwo1IgzXLedorXPBEynn2FtLSxS7H4Em/s200/WDbad2009-04-09.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322952059533292306" /></a> The two that bled? Were done on the store bought gesso'd canvases. The gesso makes the canvas smoother, yes, and for some paintings makes a pretty decent base. But when I lay tape down and drizzle layers of paint over it and peel the tape up, it should be bare under the tape, right? For some reason, the gesso base lets the paint bleed under the tape. <i>Yuck.</i><br /><br />Peeling the tape off the bare fabric of the muslin canvases leaves a fairly clean line 99.3% of the time. This is more to my liking.<br /><br />It was a learning experience. The two for scrap will be unstapled and the paint covered canvas will be cut up for... strips on something else, for cut outs to glue to cards for sale or gifts, for tying together to make funky necklaces, for spelling out naughty words on the front lawn, whatever... the frames will be used to stretch and staple fresh, bare muslin on and go about the process again with new pieces. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3cEd1bwULq6z0Go2l_Shux7ZltlWlXpT6pOmqQ3ondXsufkGvtGbbxODuVQ26CyRB9tzaMouS4N_bylFq-N20uunCxAhfQwrrEIV3EX9LzuL8Hz44jUSJH9X7WycwZkGfjn3_YOIU7F2u/s1600-h/WDgood2009-04-09_2.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3cEd1bwULq6z0Go2l_Shux7ZltlWlXpT6pOmqQ3ondXsufkGvtGbbxODuVQ26CyRB9tzaMouS4N_bylFq-N20uunCxAhfQwrrEIV3EX9LzuL8Hz44jUSJH9X7WycwZkGfjn3_YOIU7F2u/s200/WDgood2009-04-09_2.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322986364737339906" /></a>The two "Wishes Do..." pieces measure 12 inches by 24 inches, have a plain white cloth backing so the staples won't scratch your wall, are wrapped on the edges by navy blue ribbon which also serves as the hanging anchor. The colors on the canvas are grey, light blue, light pink, dark blue, and a rust red. Each is signed on the back and will be custom wrapped for shipping. <br /><br />$120 if <strike>you'd like one to pet, stroke, rub,</strike> you're interested: <form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post"><br /><input type="hidden" name="cmd" value="_s-xclick"><br /><input type="hidden" name="hosted_button_id" value="4628222"><br /><input type="image" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/btn/btn_buynowCC_LG.gif" border="0" name="submit" alt="PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online!"><br /><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif" width="1" height="1"><br /></form>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-1460919841387752062009-04-02T00:28:00.001-05:002009-04-02T00:30:17.650-05:00Binary Rain<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhobsI-qNy6jAOmAejO1uO6FgW5CSNeEIPIsyqqJGQM2zoQMphPIwZ3Kg9N9fscdfcWGvMiV3TTH2AQT4LUJshr-v7V3FlLIdX-JnLKOl3aWrPDl7NoDSF-TfnXHittr3mZTIjVc-6r7Wce/s1600-h/Binary+Rain2009-03-12.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhobsI-qNy6jAOmAejO1uO6FgW5CSNeEIPIsyqqJGQM2zoQMphPIwZ3Kg9N9fscdfcWGvMiV3TTH2AQT4LUJshr-v7V3FlLIdX-JnLKOl3aWrPDl7NoDSF-TfnXHittr3mZTIjVc-6r7Wce/s400/Binary+Rain2009-03-12.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319957914087890386" /></a><br /><br />I have this fascination with painting designs in a mosaic or tiled sort of pattern... This piece is one of them. <br /><br />Let me insert here that I have post it notes everywhere with half sketched ideas, usually no more than a couple of cross hatched lines and the names of colors quickly chicken-scratched down. I then find them the next morning scattered across the bed or floor with notes like "thre angle lines sherbet blue" or "7 rows 3rd shape black yellow", and they kinda make sense to the artist part of my brain. <br /><br />This particular painting started out as one of those small crumpled squares. I'm proud to say it came out like I'd imagined it.<br /><br />Here's a close up:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHoXXdYSyBk4x9oLqEwdGRikmuZDMYo6q-Tu7oY9Ie6jzpqTbdZGXOUeu2631MU6XIQ3ShrVMCvlwc4iVJs_xGai80HMtLMzisr6btmuDX3m50Uzig6x2g4qVSJekUO84XiDcwdvj7jOFR/s1600-h/Binary+Rain2009-03-12_2.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHoXXdYSyBk4x9oLqEwdGRikmuZDMYo6q-Tu7oY9Ie6jzpqTbdZGXOUeu2631MU6XIQ3ShrVMCvlwc4iVJs_xGai80HMtLMzisr6btmuDX3m50Uzig6x2g4qVSJekUO84XiDcwdvj7jOFR/s320/Binary+Rain2009-03-12_2.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5319958950927771634" /></a><br /><br />I like it when pieces come together like this. I like it when I just sit down and start painting something and then it looks how I wanted it to. I'm still figuring out how to make this particular style work on a few other things, but I really enjoy it. <br /><br />I've realized I need to just paint, to stop worrying about making these perfect little paintings, to just make a mess, make it happen and see what comes of it. It will better my technique, it will help me be less afraid of screwing up, it will be a better chance to see what I need to work on instead of sitting here not doing anything because I'm too worried I can do it at all.<br /><br />One step at a time, Heather. Enjoy this painting because it <i>did</i> work out.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-26890595095802010992009-03-12T03:54:00.000-05:002009-03-12T03:55:35.795-05:00Hanged Man Tells the TaleThe Hanged Man. The 2D drawing with orange lines along the sides of the tarot card offers little in the way of a threat. It's just a card.<br /><br />Isn't it?<br /><br />It's a just a card. How terrifying it feels to see this card placed in front of me once again.<br /><br />Not like I know what it means any more than before.<br /><br />Delusions of death and destruction made me choke on my chewing gum. With coughing and sputtering interrupting the reading in progress, I heard nothing past her whispery voice saying "The Hanged Man". She continued on, pointing out the cups and numbers of coins and facing up or down. Facing up or down to her or to me, though, I cannot remember.<br /><br />The Hanged Man. He caught my eye.<br /><br />I stood up from her folding chair and ducked out of the tent into the bright sunshine and noise of the county fair all around me. An empty cotton candy cone rolled past my feet, dancing in the afternoon breeze as screams of laughter echoed off the makeshift walls of dart throwing booths and kissing booths and jewelery stands and homemade jam stands.<br /><br />Suddenly, I needed quiet. Someplace quiet, please. I walked past the last stand, a guy selling his hand made rocking chairs, beautifully polished and carved works of art and relaxation, rocking in the breeze, begging to be sat upon and enjoyed. I moved past him and his rocking chairs, past the edge of the clearing to a small stand of trees, just on the edge of the field, offering a bit of solitude and shade on a day like this.<br /><br />This is where I chose to sit and contemplate. What did it mean, this Hanged Man? This man hanging by one foot from the branch of a tree? I look up above me and ponder this thought.<br /><br />One moment in suspension... and clarity of a different view comes into focus.<br /><br />These thoughts are too much to bear now, I'm afraid of digging too deep and finding out what I should not know or what I should already know but am choosing to ignore anyway.<br /><br />He hangs. He views his world upside down for a mere whimsy of a thought, just long enough to let the loose change fall from his pocket to the ground, just long enough to let the blood rush to his head, I'm sure. Then again, the last time I hung upside down was probably the jungle gym on the playground when I was small, before they were deemed as "unsafe structures for children to climb on". There were whole adventures up there, and part of the thrill was the scare that yes, you could fall and hurt yourself, so you had to make sure your grip was strong and sure, make sure you had your hand on the next bar or your foot upon one to lift you up. The ground loomed below, daunting and inviting. Ready to catch you if you fell, ready to catch you if you jumped. If you jumped off, you were in far more control than falling, thus jumping was deemed far superior than the painful lump of falling.<br /><br />Perhaps this is what the fabled hanging man saw. A world from a different view than this flat world upon which we stand. Everything was upside down. On purpose. He did not do it to fall, he was not placed there for his death, it was just to seek a sight he could not see on his own two feet upon the ground. This time the ground was above him, catching his falling change, offering to catch him if he fell. This time the tree branches held him firm, as he exercised his right to a different view of his world.<br /><br />We view him as the odd man, upside down, suspended in time and place. A tarot card telling me to look at things with a different perspective, perhaps upside down to see what stuff falls away, to pause long enough and realize this whole wide world I take for granted is just there to catch me if I were to jump the same as if I were to fall.<br /><br />The breeze knocks a leaf off the branch above me, it floats down to the ground in front of me, suggesting all along this may very well be true. Just because I'm right side up or upside down, doesn't mean everyone see the same thing.<br /><br />Someone is throwing darts at a blue balloon in effort to win his girl the stuffed teddy bear. A child is screaming at the top of his lungs because the clown frightened him and he dropped his ice cream - but if he screams from fear of the clown or agony over the ice cream, it's tough to tell. A girl is sitting in the metal folding chair to have her fortune told, hoping the boy she likes is the one for her and hoping this lady with the whispery voice and the well-read cards will tell her this is so. A woman stands on her tip-toes to place another necklace on the jewelry booth wall hook, grabbing her back as she twists in a way that is painful and curses that this is the life she chose so many years ago but is now so entrenched she doesn't know that she, too can change her view or change her world.<br /><br />I take a moment longer, to look up once again at the branches above me. I know better, this spindly tree would not hold me if I tried to climb it, so I pat the bark and sigh. Maybe having the ground catch you doesn't just have to happen if you fall or jump. Maybe having the ground catch you happens with every step you take. So I stand up and take one.<br /><br />And promptly fall as I trip over a rock.<br /><br />Yes, the ground caught me. It was there all along. I lay there for a moment stunned, glancing around to hope against hope no one saw my lack of grace, feeling my hands for the raw scratched and dirt on my palms. I'm ok. No one seems to have seen. I push myself back up and laugh, shaking at the adrenaline rush from the trip. Yep, seems that I changed my perspective after all, if only for a few minutes.<br />~Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-19212547747643933332009-03-02T20:36:00.003-06:002009-03-02T20:56:22.899-06:00two steps forward, one step backWebsite:<br /><br />I finally get a few things to line up, fall into place, look decent - and I finally get the ftp to play nice while I upload said pages to publish, and then the newest haywire is that I have three different sites with the same directory path. Sigh. <br /><br />This (I'm tired & my fingers aren't playing nice, I just wrote 'Shit' instead of 'This'. Maybe a Freudian slip...) (and now I lost my train of thought...)<br /><br />Oh.<br /><br />This means that every time I adjust one page, that's what shows up on all three sites. I'm kinda growly about this. (and I keep misspelling words, which means my fingers are tired of the keyboard for now.<br /><br />Paintings:<br /><br />I've been playing with scrapbook glues, with masking tape, with contact paper, with all sorts of things that I need to temporarily stick to the canvas without staining, so I can lay down some stencil cut outs. <br /><br />Yeah, tonight I found out that my latest endeavor, the contact paper, is reversed from what I thought it was. So my letters are backwards. (sticking my tongue out) Blarg. Also, it doesn't stick as well as I'd hoped. <br /><br />There is a need here. I need something that will work. But I'm not gonna pay 40 bucks for office supply label paper to try cutting out. I need in the 'less than 5 bucks' range. So far the scrapbooking glues are permanent on the canvas, so that's a no. Masking tape does not sit still long enough to have stencils cut out of it. <br /><br />I'm searching for... a good sticky substance, that does not stain, that releases, that I can use with a stencil to either cut out and apply or to squeeze into the stencil lines to apply. Any suggestions?<br /><br />Other than that, a few things are working out quite well and hopefully I'll have steady income again soon from the writing and copywriting and content management stuff. Also - a trip to Hawaii to hang out with cousins while my aunt & uncle take a trip! I'm so looking forward to seeing Pearl Harbor and experiencing Hawaii beaches!<br /><br />Till next time - whereby I hope to have found something sticky...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-26447725130491705522009-02-23T21:46:00.001-06:002009-02-23T21:47:25.372-06:00ArtFire!<!-- ARTFIRE MINI VIEWER FOR HEATHERARTWORKS--><br /><script src="http://artfire.com/js/jquery.js"></script><br /><span class="seller" id="14427"></span><br /><span class="layout" id="2x2"></span><br /><span class="items" id="0"></span><br /><script src="http://artfire.com/js/shop_window.js"></script><br /><div id="dmi"><a href="http://heatherartworks.artfire.com">Visit heatherartworks's ArtFire Shop</a></div><br /><!-- END ARTFIRE MINI VIEWER-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-74514407622574884922009-02-19T01:27:00.001-06:002009-02-19T01:32:39.402-06:00If Only Everything Were This EasyHa.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_1y_Z7r26CQGYVLg9BI5_q33GTkALVESrBjPzvztFy0447o1znAy8aLQXleGVCbu55MZWPaa05i4kfejXB_5BgEmG6PtRysrquPD8jRF7Jjy1SKtYisrHrw_Ub8kH9E7ENMF8vnENWeqA/s1600-h/4x4+RBG+layer22009-02-17.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_1y_Z7r26CQGYVLg9BI5_q33GTkALVESrBjPzvztFy0447o1znAy8aLQXleGVCbu55MZWPaa05i4kfejXB_5BgEmG6PtRysrquPD8jRF7Jjy1SKtYisrHrw_Ub8kH9E7ENMF8vnENWeqA/s320/4x4+RBG+layer22009-02-17.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304400852680648322" /></a><br /><br />Ok. So I put way more thought and effort into something I thought would be easy. It's taken me over a week to just get the photos done and downloaded, but when I stretched the fabric to begin with I had other ideas in mind which only after I was done painting did I realize I should have done it differently. <br /><br />Happens a lot around here. Eh, I learn as I go. Thus I'm better prepared for next time 'round.<br /><br />This was a small series of 7 canvases, paint on both sides. One layer is the blue and grey, a second layer on one side only is the red seen above.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHRvjeQo-D3DyYPGyIWVR6dlW4xuC3SqhYpDdz3oA5fWpSrMzWS5ixq5fiilZkuv_5F9X36wVGJJponPYKLskY2hXc8TBo9Pj65nrlovIInesiA49tjWY-rcaLFpAbttyutcVsxoZ5DjYb/s1600-h/4x4+RBG+layer12009-02-17_1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHRvjeQo-D3DyYPGyIWVR6dlW4xuC3SqhYpDdz3oA5fWpSrMzWS5ixq5fiilZkuv_5F9X36wVGJJponPYKLskY2hXc8TBo9Pj65nrlovIInesiA49tjWY-rcaLFpAbttyutcVsxoZ5DjYb/s320/4x4+RBG+layer12009-02-17_1.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304403603720814946" /></a><br /><br />I have sent two of these paintings off into the world to live with shiny, happy people whom I admire greatly. They know who they are because they got the packages earlier this week. This leaves me five more to find homes for. <br /><br />So if you've got a small empty space on your wall and you've been saying to yourself "Self, I think we really need a small painting that has the colors red, blue and grey in it, wrapped in a cream ribbon for hanging. I wonder where I can find one of those." then look no further - I've got them here! <br /><br />Actually, I'll have a couple of options. I've got a Zibbet and an Artfire account that I'll be posting one or two things on, and will happily deal one-on-one with anyone who asks.<br /><br />This leads me to go ahead and explain I've been working on the website for <a href="http://heatherartworks.com">heatherartworks.com</a> and <a href="http://rideandrub.com">rideandrub.com</a> in efforts to make them prettier to look at. h'art works will become a gallery, my freelance writing contract site, and the blog, so contacting me for all my talents will hopefully be easier. (Like it's oh so hard to find me now...) and Ride & Rub will be a sales point when we get our product in.<br /><br />More. Soon. I'm working on it. I swear! (Everyday.)<br /><br />~Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-59473740442100981242009-01-26T00:00:00.000-06:002009-01-26T00:38:30.404-06:00Oxes? Oxen?Happy New Year! <br /><br />Ok, Happy Chinese New Year! There, is that better?<br /><br />A Video! (I will stop with the exclamation points now.) <br /><br />More paint flinging - a red layer. I will eventually figure out how to add music or edit these things, I hope. I want to, it's just like trying to convert the picture in my head to a painting or convert code into a proper website - I don't have a fucking clue so I push buttons till my computer growls at me or I have to call Lawrence to fix something. <br /><br />No singing this time. You have been spared. Partly because I can barely breathe & partly because I've got a sore throat, and both of those combined are thanks to the lovely dry winds of West Texas. Doing this and building the 1x2 frames Saturday night was the most effort I put into anything all weekend. <br /><br />Ok, I'll quit yammering now and let you watch. Have fun. I'll be traveling this coming weekend & then sending my computer to Apple so they can fix her, so it'll be a bit before I'm back. <br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LemZ746tQ8k&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LemZ746tQ8k&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />~Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-21643754450360180702009-01-17T21:24:00.003-06:002009-01-17T21:35:27.524-06:00flinging a little paintSince I've been putting forth efforts elsewhere - sorting writing and DBA stuff out and figuring out the minutia of a web design, a logo design, and a few other random things - it's been a full few weeks already.<br /><br />It's not scintillating, it's almost boring because it's nine minutes of me half singing along with my ipod (and my singing voice is better reserved for the car) and yammering on about painting. Or flinging paint. With a straw. <br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FuYwy-HOuZA&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FuYwy-HOuZA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-39845962583419803942008-12-23T23:20:00.001-06:002008-12-24T00:59:37.689-06:00The ones you make yourself hold the most meaningI gave my paint tool box away. <br /><br />It was one of those plastic tool boxes for about five bucks that I'd modified for carrying paints and paintbrushes. I didn't have a permanent shelf or place to store my stuff at the time. It had enough room for several brushes and most of the colors I used, and the tray carried extra carving blades, small wood pieces, random beads, and electrical tape because I learned the blades were sharp before I invested in gloves and used the electrical tape to wrap around my fingers and thumb to protect them at the time. <br /><br />The tool box had been gathering dust for awhile now. I still used it on occasion for travel or working in another location and it made a decent foot stool a lot of the time. My brushes are scattered everywhere, the paints are mostly corralled in a drawer unit, and I still have random pieces of wood here and there. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1FN8Ku3IHQnWMS-_n_m0X_lE5TMidzsvhn1lbsFVWQZNuxHGlJHpTPTyuc7FSYB3EjJ9aLmBLws3MyVMup_D0AB-xbZSg2f8z9zWxx5JstJq-ztYCpUyrUswXYlGZcuseJx9lY7eLQW_m/s1600-h/img136.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1FN8Ku3IHQnWMS-_n_m0X_lE5TMidzsvhn1lbsFVWQZNuxHGlJHpTPTyuc7FSYB3EjJ9aLmBLws3MyVMup_D0AB-xbZSg2f8z9zWxx5JstJq-ztYCpUyrUswXYlGZcuseJx9lY7eLQW_m/s320/img136.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283195582866020578" /></a><br /><br />Well on Friday night I kept an eye on my cousins while my aunt & uncle had an evening to themselves for dinner & shopping. I won't call it babysitting because they're old enough to take care of themselves, really. I just hung out to make sure the boys didn't set the house on fire or throw cupcakes at the dogs. <br /><br />One of the boys is kinda quiet compared to the other two, and really good at the science fair stuff and has an interest in painting. They're all three sharp, just different interests. Anyway, he was showing me stuff he'd been working on but had run out of green paint. <br /><br />So I cleaned off my tool box, tossed a couple of newer brushes in there and picked up some new paints for him, just basic colors to get him going. When I felt better on Sunday I took it over, telling him it wasn't a Christmas present, it was a gift from one artist to another. I told him what I'd done to modify it years ago & showed him the brushes and paints and a few board canvases if he wanted to paint pictures for someone else for Christmas, he could. <br /><br />It was a little hard. To let go. Of something I didn't use anymore, I know. But when I was in kind of a turmoil-y place once, and I used art as a stability, and I picked up wood carving and took to it nearly every night, well, it was a grounding thing. Carry tools, foot stool, sitting stool, drying dock, everything. <br /><br />But I know it's gone to a good home now. Pass along something that he can use to make his own art with. And that makes me proud.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV5lm0xiffUYPJWUrlRbz1uvhe8WWW8-yz7Y0OHJbrrL44dYec5508XWH34DQFqIimLB6GNwcJCLw2tC9pnCsATFH4MtlPj__ZDzedG0lGpQdcjr0SKDelU7PruCed6ZxcI9NcptznJeYc/s1600-h/img137.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV5lm0xiffUYPJWUrlRbz1uvhe8WWW8-yz7Y0OHJbrrL44dYec5508XWH34DQFqIimLB6GNwcJCLw2tC9pnCsATFH4MtlPj__ZDzedG0lGpQdcjr0SKDelU7PruCed6ZxcI9NcptznJeYc/s400/img137.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283195714673548514" /></a><br /><br />The photos are some of the wood pieces. <br /><br />Tonight I picked up my detail brush and started working on them again. I haven't touched them in over a year and a half, since before eye surgery the summer before last. Because before that all I could see was up close. Details and tiny cuts were so easy. I've partly been afraid to try since, and have kept myself busy with other things. The lines are not the same. The details are not the same. But it felt so damn good to pick up something that I remember and have a groove with. <br /><br />I apologize for the craptastic clarity, or lack thereof, of the pics. I used the phone camera because I could send them straight to the computer without having to dig out wires and download my camera. I'm lazy like that. And was busy being productive anyway.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-21253038677885699462008-12-19T00:00:00.001-06:002008-12-19T01:07:29.769-06:0017th of December, Part 4<i><a href="http://heatherartworks.blogspot.com/2008/12/17th-of-december-part-1.html">...Part 1</a>, <a href="http://heatherartworks.blogspot.com/2008/12/december-17-part-2.html">Part 2</a>, <a href="http://heatherartworks.blogspot.com/2008/12/17th-of-december-part-3.html">Part 3...</a></i><br /><br />This series has been harder than I thought. <br /><br />The writing has been therapeutic, yes. It's only further proof that some things never completely heal, and some things will continue to surface long after their time has past. <br /><br />This night was a turning point for me and I'm reminded of it every time I look in the mirror. The difference now is that while these physical scars have healed, there are days when I wonder about the person I've become since then.<br /><br />I changed how I travel. I still prefer to drive and I love to travel, but now I give myself plenty of time to get anywhere and stop for naps if I feel I need it. I got my motorcycle license last year and love riding. There is a freedom and balance to being on a bike that feels like flying. <br /><br />I quit wearing a watch. Time didn't matter. Time <i>doesn't</i> matter.* Yes, I have a lead foot and like speed, but I don't care if I get anywhere on time. I'll get there when I get there. <br /><br />Family matters. A lot. My cousin was killed instantly in a car wreck just a few years before. This scared my family, dealing this and me. It scared me, the thought of losing all this support and love.<br /><br />I survived something I shouldn't have. Those pictures my parents took of the truck? I saw one, once. I've never seen them again. That one photo showed a small green pickup truck that looked like it had been picked up and twisted in different directions by the Jolly Green Giant. It's hard to explain other than I saw that photo and cried. How in the world did I survive that? I don't know. <br /><br />But it let me know I'm still here on this earth for some reason. And I've spent the last eleven years trying to find my way on my path. <br /><br />Just over a year later I moved to San Antonio. I had a wonderful experience with theatre there and formed a long lasting relationship. I traveled all over the state for auditions and commercial things. I later moved to Ft. Davis and met my best friend. <br /><br />Then came Massage Therapy classes where I learned so much and loved it all. Yes, the human body is freaking amazing and yet so very fragile. <br /><br />And I've dabbled in everything that catches my interest since then. Why not? Life is short enough, right? So I might as well try things out and see if I like them. I like to think I've continued to jump in there to take those chances, but sometimes I know I haven't. <br /><br />Fear will stop things before they have a chance to begin. If the worst that could happen is something I've lived through, then I tell myself to go try it out. <br /><br />I meet fascinating people and have great conversations this way. I once asked a parking lot painter if I could paint a stripe but he said he'd rather not see me mess up my skirt as we were on our way to the bar. Seriously. Ask Amber. <br /><br />I took the leap for nude modeling and loved it. I leaned in to kiss a guy during a cold audition and landed the role. I flew out to Charleston to meet someone I'd only talked to for six weeks and that turned into a relationship. I submitted my writing for several projects and landed a few of them, some of which continue now as I develop more skills. I took the motorcycle classes because I really, really, really wanted to learn to ride and wasn't dating anyone with a bike anymore. I took a chance on a personal ad, drove to El Paso a week later to meet the man I will eventually marry. <br /><br />I've played it safe plenty of times, too. Having a steady paycheck is nice, it's the draw of a desk job. <br /><br />But the part of me that knows something is off, knows. And I've taken a few steps toward the next leg of this path I'm on, figuring out what still fits and what doesn't. <br /><br />All in all, I'm an artist. I love creating. I love whimsy. I love helping make people feel better whether by massage or by finding answers. I love the human art form and expression. And I love passion. <br /><br />The scars are still here. Reminders of what happened. Reminders of where I've been. It's always moving forward from some point. It's a long, winding path with many detours. My life is a journey. When I pay attention and see the signs, I stay on the road, when I don't, things get all topsy-turvy. <br /><br />Thank you for letting me express a bit of myself here. I hope you come back on occasion to see where I'm at next.<br /><br /><br />*<i>"Only life matters." - Guess what movie that's from?</i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-9344841534102863912008-12-18T00:00:00.003-06:002008-12-18T00:00:00.523-06:0017th of December, Part 3<i><a href="http://heatherartworks.blogspot.com/2008/12/17th-of-december-part-1.html">...Part 1</a>, <a href="http://heatherartworks.blogspot.com/2008/12/december-17-part-2.html">Part 2...</a></i><br /><br /><b>The Hospital</b><br /><br />Backboards suck. I was coherent, in pain, scared, could barely see, cold, strapped down, and nobody had called my parents yet. So I was also pissed. <br /><br />When I'm in pain my very obnoxious, very dark, very annoying, and very twisted sense of humor shines through. This is true when I stub my toe as much as when I hit my funny bone. So multiply all the tense whiplashed muscles, lots of blood, and pieces of my body that were not in their rightful place, and I was quite venomous with the bad jokes. <br /><br />I wanted <i>off</i> that backboard. I knew my back was fine. I could sense it in my body. When I tried to tell the poor nurses or doctors who were working on or around me, they did. not. get. it. "My back hurts, please let me off here!" "If your back hurts, it may be broken, please lie still." "NO! It <i>hurts</i> because I'm strapped to this godforsaken FLAT piece of wood and my spine is not FLAT! It curves! How do you not know this? Didn't you take anatomy?"<br /><br />See? I was annoying. Even better:<br /><br />"Hello? I'm cold. Please, a blanket or something?" "Here, here's a warm towel, is that better?" Well, it was ok, for a few minutes until the warmth was gone and it was a cold towel barely covering my knees. "Hey, I'm cold again." "Here, here's another warm towel. Is this better?" "No. I tell you what, you take those towels out of that warmer and just put me in there, ok?" <br /><br />No one laughed but me. I tell you, I have a warped sense of humor. <br /><br />The rest I remember parts of. Fuzzy parts here and there. I know they took X-rays sometime. I know my parents were finally called, somewhere around midnight or one am. My parents were working two jobs each at the time, both too exhausted to make the drive right then, so they came down the next morning. <br /><br /><b>Doctor, Doctor</b><br /><br />The X-rays came back and a doctor started to tell me what was wrong with me according to that see through piece of paper. "It looks like both your ankles were broken, and..." I cut him off. "What? No, they're not! My ankles are fine!" And I proceeded to roll them both this way and that, up and down, as far as I could while being strapped down. He said, 'Well, I guess that must just be scar tissue then." "Yeah, I jumped off of a lot of fences when I was a kid. Also took dance." I was not so confident in this doctor at this point. <br /><br />I asked if my shoulder was dislocated because it hurt so bad. "No, it's probably just whiplash from being pulled on by your seat belt." "But it's my right shoulder." "Yes, it was probably from your body straining against the shoulder strap of your seat belt." "But IT'S MY <i>RIGHT</i> SHOULDER." "Yes, it's probably from your seat belt. When it held you in place, your body strained against it, it'll be fine." <br /><br />I gave up. Yes, my <i>right</i> shoulder has a slight permanent shift to it, a slight dislocation that even massage can only quell so much. And it was not from the seat belt that was going across my left shoulder. <br /><br />My hand was smashed. My left hand. It was bloody and hurt pretty bad and sorta numb, too. They couldn't tell what was broken and since they were just an Emergency Room, they just wrapped it up in a whole lotta gauze. <br /><br />My left eyelid was cut going back toward my temple. My right ear had been sliced nearly off. I had dried blood and broken glass all over me. <br /><br />Another doctor came in, apparently a plastic surgeon on night call. He was there to stitch me up. To sew my ear back on. To sew my eyelid back together. <br /><br />When you're at a broken & beaten point, strapped to a effing backboard, dried blood in your eyes, one eye swollen closed, and someone is leaning over you with a needle, what do you do? <br /><br />I chose to scream. <br /><br />It's not like I didn't warn him. I told him I know what he's doing, I know he has to do this, and I know it's not really like my eyeball, just my eyelid, but I'm going to scream anyway. And I do. And I have a damn good scream. He says knock her out. <br /><br /><b>Finally.</b><br /><br />According to the bill I got for those stitches though, I must have screamed good. He charged a thousand bucks a stitch. <br /><br />I was still on that gurney or whatever the next morning when I came to. A family friend who lived in San Angelo came by to check on me, my parents had called him, he was like my other dad. My parents came in. They moved me to a hospital room. They explained their version to my parents. <br /><br />Sometime in there they gave me lemonade with Barium in it (I still have a tough time choking down a glass of lemonade because of this), and sent me for another test, I guess to see if I was bleeding internally. The thing is, I'd been strapped to that board for however many hours overnight, I'd probably had a large bottle of water or two as I usually do on long trips and had not stopped for a bathroom break yet. I was planning on stopping in San Angelo, another 10 minutes down the road... but I never got there. And now a plastic cup of lemonade? My bladder was full. I told them this before we left the room. <br /><br />They put me on that machine for an MRI or CAT or whatever anyway and I told them I needed to pee. So they brought me a bed pan. <br /><br />Have you ever tried to pee into a bed pan? I'm not male, I can't aim like that. I was in too much pain to be too embarrassed, and I'm not proud of it at all, but I peed all over myself and that pan and whatever gurney or machine I was on. <br /><br />This is another reason why they should <i>listen</i> to the patient. <br /><br />Anyway. No internal bleeding. They kept me in the hospital for the next four days because my "blood was too low." I told them to "quit coming in to take it every other hour" and it would be fine. <br /><br />My iron count was too low - I was anemic. Didn't matter to them that I'd pretty much always been and that I'd just finished my period a few days before. They pumped me full of these very toxic iron pills until my levels were to their liking before they could release me.<br /><br />I slept a lot. I couldn't see anything because they'd taken my contacts out and I didn't have my glasses. Not that that mattered, I couldn't wear them anyway, the stitches on my ear and a broken nose. Oh, yes - a broken nose. From the damned airbag. I hate those things. Seat belt saved my life, an airbag broke my nose. <br /><br />Anyway, yes. My body was beaten and bruised, so I slept, a lot. My parents stayed with me, I think sleeping in the chairs. I asked for peanut butter and bananas, a comfort food. The cafeteria or nurses station only had peanut butter crackers. My dad offered to scrape the peanut butter off the crackers for me. Turned out the peanut butter crackers they had were separate, so he didn't have to. <br /><br />Somewhere in those days my parents went to get whatever was left of my personal stuff from the wreck. They went out to the site. My mom told me they could tell where it was from the smashed bottle of nail polish across the ground. Also the broken glass and bits of truck. They took pictures. Of the site. Of the truck. Or what was left of it. <br /><br />Sunday came, they said I could go home as soon as the doctor released me. The doctor was apparently busy watching the Cowboys football game that day. I was antsy. I was feeling better enough and I wanted out of there. I'd had enough rest and wanted to go home. My body was ready. <br /><br />He finally came, signed the forms, we loaded up to go. They gave my mom the iron pills I was 'supposed' to take. My body <i>smelled</i> like rust from that stuff. I didn't take them. <br /><br />We went home. My mom took me to a couple of doctors over the next week to check the stitches and my left hand. They unwrapped it for the first time since it had been wrapped on Wednesday night of the wreck. Several days of dried blood, major bruising, and broken glass. It smelled bad and hurt worse. It was three sizes too big, purple, green, yellow, blue, and disgusting. I joked that someone had removed my hand and replaced it with a prop from a bad 'B' horror movie. <br /><br />One bone broken though. In all that mess, just one broken bone. A tiny one, a metacarpal. But the rest was swollen and bruised badly. I'd had my hand on the steering wheel as I rolled, smashing it. So I got a soft cast and six weeks of showering with a plastic bag over my hand.<br /><br />I slept a lot more. I couldn't drive for awhile. I relied on my family for so much. <br /><br />Things changed for me that night. <br /><br /><i>Tomorrow I'll expound further.</i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-59027268292544486792008-12-17T00:00:00.000-06:002008-12-16T23:02:31.427-06:0017th of December, Part 2<i><a href="http://heatherartworks.blogspot.com/2008/12/17th-of-december-part-1.html">Part 1 here...</a></i><br /><br /><b>Rollover on the Highway</b><br /><br />I had a truck. A little Ford Ranger. Green. It had a crack in the windshield from a rock chip from the resealing of city streets the past summer. <br /><br />I was tired. I'd been awake since sometime around 4am. I'd taken some form of over the counter sinus stuff the day before for allergies. (Did that play a role, hardly, but I've since gone homeopathic & don't touch the over-the-counter stuff at all.) I'd driven the six hours out to Austin, done the audition, and driven more than halfway back home. I wanted to be home.<br /><br />But I was tired. And I couldn't tell that the street lights up ahead were for a different road that went one way while the road I was on curved the other. <br /><br />And I swerved. And I panicked. And I over-corrected. And I tensed up every muscle in my body. And I said "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit..." And I remember the track the CD was playing. I remember the song. I remember where in the song. I remember the lyrics at that point in the song. I remember being very, very unhappy at what was happening. <br /><br />They tell me I rolled several times. My parents told me they unwrapped my dog tags from around my rear-view mirror three times. I went across the median. Into oncoming traffic. Rolling. Rolling across the median. The truck stopped on the passenger side on the other road. Where another car hit my truck and sent me spinning in it. <br /><br />I was the scene people slow down for. To see what happened. But I couldn't see what they saw. <br /><br /><b>My view was a very different perspective.</b><br /><br />My left eye was bloody and swollen shut. My right eye didn't want to open until the blood covering it dried. My right shoulder hurt. My left hand was excruciating. My feet were cold. And I was in the cab of that small truck looking at a swath of dark red blood across the ceiling above me.<br /><br />The back window had popped out somewhere on that roller coaster. The front window was smashed. As were the driver and passenger windows. I had enough of my wits about me to turn off the engine. I released my seat belt which let me drop the last few inches so my feet were on the ground through the passenger side window. Good thing I'd waited till the truck wasn't moving anymore, because had my feet drooped through that window before the spinning, they would have been cut off at the ankle. I leaned back on the seat with seatbelt locks digging into my side as voices shouted and hollered outside. <br /><br />They asked me where I was going. "Home. To Odessa." They asked me where I was coming from. "From Austin." That can't be, they said. I was on the wrong road, they said. I must have it backwards, they said. I must have been going to Austin from Odessa. "NO!" I said. I was hurt, not stupid. I hadn't lost my brain capacity. I was angry. <br /><br />I offered to try and climb out. They told me to stay put. To wait for the police and ambulance. I told them, someone, anyone, to find my purse. Please. It had a cell phone in it, please find it and call my parents. Just let them know. I know now that no one did. <br /><br />More questions. Asking what happened, what hurt. Eventually I was told they brought in the Jaws of Life. I figured it must be pretty bad to get that. They put a sheet over my head to protect me from the shards of glass and metal it would be cutting away. Someone placed the neck brace thing on my neck even though I told them my neck was fine. They slid in a back board and strapped me to it. They rolled me to the waiting helicopter and flew me into town to the hospital. <br /><br />My first helicopter ride involved me being strapped to a backboard, not able to see anything, and was really cold because one door was still open and it felt like my feet were hanging out. <br /><br />The wreck happened around 10pm. I was on the road into San Angelo, right around a tiny little area called Wall. They've since put up those big yellow arrow signs on that curve, because I apparently was not the only one to not realize the road curved. The sheriff or police officer, I don't even know which, told me I would be given several tickets. Failure to control vehicle. Failure to yield right-of-way or going into oncoming traffic or some such. And something else. I honestly don't remember what else. <br /><br />It didn't matter to me. I was in pain. And the wreck was just the beginning...<br /><br /><i>...to be continued...</i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-84979336366893177402008-12-16T00:00:00.001-06:002008-12-16T16:58:09.293-06:0017th of December, Part 1I am afraid. Yet the date comes and goes and I drive the same road several times a year. I persevere.<br /><br />Some part of you is going to read this, sickly fascinated by what happened, because it's something that draws everyone. It's what makes us slow down to see what happened and be thankful it wasn't us. <br /><br />And some part of you may have no desire whatsoever to <strike>hear</strike> read about a twisted, mangled pain that may have healed to the best of healing ability in the physical manner - but still aches as a reminder. <br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br /><b>December 17, 1997.</b> <br /><br />A Wednesday. Cold enough for Winter in Texas, but not as bad as the sudden 10 inches of snow we would get a year later. <br /><br />I wanted to be an actress. I'd wanted to be one for years. I did the community theatre, the high school shows, the after school children's productions. I did the modeling and training, the late night rehearsals of Shakespeare and musicals. I wanted Broadway, but being practical about my chances as an actress as I was about college, I didn't go.<br /><br />A friend wanted New York, too. We decided on Austin as a stepping stone to get to NY eventually. Austin from Odessa was a huge step. We decided to move in the Spring, after the holidays with our families. <br /><br />I like a plan. Whether I stick to it or not, I like having some sort of framework to go with. <br /><br />We had a plan now. So when I saw an audition ad for "Angels in America" by Tony Kushner at an Austin theatre, meant to be performed a few months later, I decided this was a shot! A chance to audition for a show and move to a big city and see what I could prove! <br /><br />So I figured it out. My day job at the time was as a graphic operator or sound tech for the local morning news show. Sometimes commercial stuff like helping to dub or make the phone number go across the screen. This Wednesday I would get off work around 11am. I left and headed out toward Austin, taking Brady and Llano across - a road I'd driven a few times before. I remember stopping to pickup a few things as Christmas gifts for my family. A couple of puzzles for my younger brothers, coloring books for cousins. I'm not sure anymore really. <br /><br />I remember I had time to grab a sandwich and find the theatre. I remember sitting in the hallway going over the lines before the audition. I remember I wore my best blue t-shirt and a blue denim jacket with my best blue jeans. I guess I probably had tennis shoes on... oh, that's right, I did. White Keds. I remember thinking I did pretty good, but I was nervous, so I knew it wasn't a 'knocked their socks off great' audition. But I wanted that role. I wanted this show to be a sign I should move to Austin.<br /><br /><b>The drive home</b><br /><br />Yes, it was dark, but I didn't think it's be a problem. I'd borrowed my dad's cell phone (because at the time only busy business-type people had one, really), so I was going to call my parents when I got to San Angelo just to let them know I was about two hours out. I also didn't want to use the roaming minutes and San Angelo was close enough it wouldn't. <br /><br />Good. A plan. <br /><br />It didn't happen like that. My parents got a call several hours later from either the hospital or the officer, I don't know, to let them know their daughter was in a car accident. <br /><br /><i>...to be continued...</i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3422730484160912401.post-58008187199542843422008-12-09T22:14:00.001-06:002008-12-09T22:24:31.024-06:00to thine own self be true: effortWhere I first off admit I'm not great as staying in touch with people, not only in blogging and commenting, but in the real world where I have friends I've actually hugged before. (a real physical hug, not a facebook app hug) I have a hard enough time mailing a card once in awhile, much less reaching out to visit.<br /><br />It does require effort. Sometimes more than I can muster, depending on what emotional state I'm visiting. But there are days I call everyone and send letters and can't read and comment enough, it's like air - I breathe in your lives and words and stop by to say hi.<br /><br />It takes as much effort to update my own blog depending on what I've got going on. I suck at downloading pics to upload to the site, and Rob & I are trying to work on designs for Ride & Rub, trying to figure out how to move forward with that crazy little world. Amongst all these little worlds.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div><br /><br />In which I profess love, adoration, and stalker status of the writers that I read in absolutely no order other than I think to write them down because I read them in whatever random order my moods are befitting at the time I open my favorites list:<br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/havi">Havi</a> & Selma - <a href="http://www.fluentself.com/blog/">The Fluent Self</a>: An awesome pair who calm people down just by explaining <i>how</i> to calm down.<br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/ascottwhite">Scott</a> - <a href="http://www.aswhite.com/">Caveat Emptor</a>: Scott tells stories and has conversations that I only dream of having, but then he writes them down, so he has way more markers in the "Writing things down so they will be remembered for generations" category.<br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/evehorizon">Brandon</a> - <a href="http://www.brandonoana.com/">/thepenismightier\</a>: I do believe this man has far more alias' than I have, and let me tell you, I have quite a few. He often has problems with pants, but then, don't we all? He has a way with words that get down on their knees and beg me to lick them up, just once, pretty please, because these words will never do me wrong again. I've had the honor of having him guest post for me before - and he nailed it.<br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/doubleDanger">James</a> - <a href="http://doubledanger.com/">Double Danger</a>: He's over in Midland & he shares writing and insight with his wife Shala. It's nice to have another voice of reason & common sense to connect to in the area, and even though we're no more than 20 miles apart, we haven't met yet!<br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/daisytails">Gina</a> - <a href="http://arttripper.com/">Art Tripper</a>: My sister-in-law, so I know her art stuff. She graduates this weekend (yea!) and is intent on developing the art scene here in Midland-Odessa, launching a sales venue & gallery & gathering group to grow the talents we have out here.<br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/neilochka">Neil</a> - <a href="http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/">Citizen of the Month</a>: One of the first to comment on my other writing, a huge encourager, a man not afraid to stand in the middle of the street and yell at the people passing by and then post about it because it makes great blogfodder, and yet he's still so vulnerable you just want to make him hot cocoa & give him extra marshmallows.<br /><br />Jenn - <a href="http://doktorchik.blogspot.com/">Doktorchik</a>: One of my friends from high school who has blogged about her weight loss surgery & some very yummy recipes, as well as the happenings in her life. She's a friend I need to see again the next time I'm going to San Antonio.<br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/garnett1966">James</a> - <a href="http://8xyzzy8.wordpress.com/">d is for delightful</a>: His latest incarnation (this man has more lives than a cat, thank goodness) is open, honest, & thought-provoking to say the least. James, you sir are one of my Gabriel friends, though we've not met in person, our stories have crossed paths.<br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/sparkyfirepants">David</a> - <a href="http://sparkyfirepants.com/blog/">Sparky Firepants</a>: An artist who is making a living <b>as an artist!</b> He has offered an ear if I were to need it, and encouragement to keep making the art happen. He lives by some alpacas, and while I have not made the acquaintance of an alpaca, he claims they have great creative inspiration qualities. I'll take his word for it.<br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/NathanBowers">Nathan</a> - <a href="http://doodleist.com/">Doodleist</a> & <a href="http://nathanbowers.com/">Nathan Bowers</a>: A genius at code and wordpress and other web/computer things that I don't understand, but that's ok because he does and that's why he's there. He started doodleist to showcase art, his own drawing & painting and that of those he likes - it's intriguing to see the development process from a different angle. Just from grabbing a pen & some paper. Any paper.<br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/pamslim">Pam</a> - <a href="http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/get_a_life_blog/">Escape from Cubicle Nation</a>: Because I'm working on my own plan to get out from behind the desk for someone else and in front of a table saw & canvas like I belong, and she offers great advice as well as daily thoughts and encouragement from her life as she writes her book!<br /><br />Bobbi - <a href="http://garlopsonspot.blogspot.com/">The Gar-Lop-Son Spot</a>: My friend Bobbi who moved to New Mexico to be with her honey & while I miss her, I see that they get to go hiking a lot! (And they got snow today!) She's got a good little family life going & it's inspiring to see. (Now wondering when <a href="http://twitter.com/adbmparr">Amber</a> will get a blog! heehee)<br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/myventspace">Melissa</a> - <a href="http://www.myventspace.blogspot.com/">They Call Me Crazy</a>: She's not really crazy, but appease her by telling her she is, ok? While we may not agree on a bunch of things, she deals with things I don't, so I shut up & let her talk. It's better that way. Also, her hubby is serving his tour in the sandbox & I give her props for <i>not</i> crying every single day, because I totally would if Rob got deployed.<br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/maggieDammit">Maggie</a> - <a href="http://okayfinedammit.com/">Okay. Fine. Dammit.</a>: A woman who can wrap words around her finger so gently they fall into place like one of her bouncy curls. She's pushing the walls of her mime-box back to make her space bigger and more her own and she shares a lot of great insights along the way. <br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div><br /><br />Yep, I like twitter too - it makes the stalking and networking easier. It has made it easier to meet people I like online and someday I hope to meet them in person. <br /><br />Oddly enough, Rob & I met online, yet he doesn't spend nearly as much time on the web as I do - it's hard enough to get him to check his email! But I'm glad he was on that one weekend, he's worth it. <br /><br />Someday I hope to meet lots more. When I actually make the effort to do so, that is...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10